How to Write a Best Man Speech: A Step-by-Step Guide

You've been asked to be best man. It's an honour, and then, usually a few seconds later, it's a quiet panic about the speech. The good news is that a great best man speech isn't about being a natural comedian or a gifted writer. It's about following a simple structure, choosing the right stories, and keeping it short.

Here's how to do it, step by step, with example lines you can borrow and make your own.

Step 1: Gather Your Material First

Don't open a blank document and stare at it. Start by collecting raw material. You'll write faster and better once you have more stories than you need.

Questions to ask yourself

How did you meet the groom? What was your first impression?
What's one story that sums up who he is?
When did you first realise this relationship was serious?
What does his partner bring out in him?
What's changed about him since they got together?

People to ask

Message a few of his family members, old friends, or colleagues. Ask each one for a single story or a word that describes him. You won't use everything, but you'll often find a detail you'd forgotten or a pattern worth mentioning, like the fact that everyone describes him as the one who shows up when it matters.

What you're looking for

You want one or two strong stories, not ten small ones. The best stories reveal something true about his character: his loyalty, his stubbornness, his terrible sense of direction, his big heart. If a story is funny and says something real about him, it's gold.

Step 2: Use a Simple Structure

Most good best man speeches follow the same basic shape. You don't need to reinvent it. A clear structure helps the audience follow along and helps you remember what comes next.

Opening and introduction
Thank-yous (brief)
Stories about the groom
The turn: the groom and his partner
A wish or piece of advice
The toast

Let's go through each part.

Step 3: Write a Strong Opening

Your first few lines set the tone and settle your nerves. Introduce yourself, since not everyone will know who you are, and ideally get a gentle laugh or a warm smile.

Example lines you can adapt:

"Good evening, everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm [name], and I've been [groom]'s best friend since we were eleven, which means I've had a front-row seat to some of his worst decisions. Today isn't one of them."
"Hi, I'm [name]. [Groom] asked me to be his best man, and I said yes before I realised it meant standing up here. So if my hands are shaking, that's why."
"I'm [name], [groom]'s brother. I've known him his whole life, and I've been waiting a long time to tell some of these stories in front of his new in-laws."

Keep it to three or four sentences. Don't apologise at length for being nervous. A light acknowledgement is fine, then move on.

Step 4: Keep Thank-Yous Short

Thank the people who need thanking, but don't turn it into a list. Check with the groom beforehand about who has already been thanked so you don't repeat the previous speaker.

Example:

"Before I start, I want to say thank you to [names] for hosting us today, and to [partner's name] for looking absolutely stunning, and for agreeing to marry this man, which we're all grateful for."
"Huge thanks to everyone who's travelled to be here. [Groom] and [partner] are lucky to have so many people who love them in one room."

Step 5: Tell Stories About the Groom

This is the heart of the speech. Pick your best one or two stories and tell them well.

How to tell a story in a speech

Set it up quickly. Where were you, and what was happening? One or two sentences.
Get to the moment. What did he do or say?
Land the point. What does it show about him?

That last step is what separates a good speech from a string of anecdotes. Each story should lead somewhere.

Example story structure:

"In our second year at university, [groom] decided he was going to learn to cook. He bought a cookbook, invited six of us round, and served a lasagne that was somehow both burnt and frozen. We ate it anyway. But here's the thing: he kept inviting us back, every week, until he got it right. That's [groom]. He doesn't give up, and he always wants the people around him to feel looked after."

Example lines for describing the groom

"If you need someone to help you move house at seven in the morning, he's the first to arrive. If you need someone to help you find the house, maybe call someone else."
"He's the kind of friend who remembers your birthday, your mum's name, and the exact thing you said that one time, and he'll bring it up at the worst possible moment."
"He's never been the loudest person in the room, but he's always the one people gravitate towards."

The rules for jokes

Teasing is part of the tradition, but there's a clear line.

Do:

Tease him about harmless quirks: his fashion choices, his driving, his obsession with a sports team.
Keep jokes affectionate. The audience should laugh with him.

Don't:

Mention exes, past relationships, or anything about the stag do that he wouldn't want his grandmother to hear.
Use inside jokes that only three people will understand.
Embarrass his partner or make jokes at their expense.
Swear heavily or make crude jokes, unless you are absolutely certain of the room.

A good test: would the groom, his partner, and both sets of grandparents all be comfortable hearing it? If you're unsure, cut it.

Step 6: Make the Turn to the Couple

This is where many best man speeches either soar or fall flat. After the laughs, shift the tone. Talk about the groom's partner and what you've seen change since they got together.

Example lines:

"I knew [partner] was the one when [groom] started cancelling football to go to farmers' markets. And he seemed happy about it."
"The first time I met [partner], [groom] spent the whole evening watching their reaction to every joke. I'd never seen him care that much about what someone thought. That's when I knew."
"[Partner], you've made my best friend calmer, kinder, and slightly better dressed. Thank you for all three."
"Since they met, I've watched [groom] become the person he was always meant to be. [Partner] didn't change him. They just made him more himself."

Speak directly to the partner for a sentence or two. It's a lovely moment and it makes the speech feel complete.

Step 7: Offer a Wish or a Little Advice

Before the toast, add a short, sincere line about the future. Keep it simple. You're not expected to be a marriage expert.

Example lines:

"My only advice is this: keep being each other's favourite person to tell things to."
"I hope your life together is full of good food, long walks, and arguments that end in laughter."
"[Groom], you've always been there for me. I know you'll be there for [partner] in every way that counts."

Step 8: End With a Clear Toast

Make it obvious when you've finished, and give people time to stand and raise their glasses.

Example toasts:

"So please, everyone, raise your glasses. To [groom] and [partner]!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, please stand and join me in a toast to the newlyweds: to love, laughter, and happily ever after. To [groom] and [partner]!"
"To my best friend and the person who finally made him grow up. To [groom] and [partner]!"

How Long Should a Best Man Speech Be?

Aim for three to five minutes. At a relaxed speaking pace, that's usually somewhere around 400 to 700 words. Time yourself reading it aloud to check.

Shorter is almost always better. Nobody has ever complained that the best man speech wasn't long enough. If you're running over, cut the weakest story first.

Edit Ruthlessly

Once you have a full draft, put it away for a day, then come back and cut.

Remove anything that needs a long explanation. If a joke needs context, it probably won't land.
Shorten long sentences. Speeches are heard, not read. Short sentences are easier to say and easier to follow.
Read it out loud. You'll immediately notice phrases that feel awkward in your mouth.
Check names and details. Get the partner's name, the in-laws' names, and any key facts exactly right.

If you'd rather have help shaping your stories into a polished speech, ToastWriter can write a custom best man speech from your own memories and details.

Rehearse, Then Rehearse Again

Practise the speech out loud several times in the days before the wedding. Try it in front of a friend or record yourself on your phone.

Don't memorise it word for word. Know it well enough that you can look up from your notes often.
Use notes or cue cards. Large print, numbered pages. Reading from your phone is fine, but turn off notifications and set the screen not to dim.
Mark your pauses. Leave space after a joke for people to laugh, and slow down at the emotional moments.

On the Day

Go easy on the drinks before your speech. One to settle nerves is plenty. Celebrate properly afterwards.
Find the microphone beforehand and check how it works.
Speak slower than feels natural. Nerves speed everyone up.
Look at the couple during the heartfelt parts. It helps you connect, and it helps the audience feel the moment.
If you stumble, smile and carry on. The room is on your side. Everyone there wants you to do well.

Quick Checklist

Before the big day, make sure your speech:

Introduces who you are
Includes brief thank-yous
Has one or two strong stories that reveal the groom's character
Keeps all jokes affectionate and family-friendly
Turns warmly to the partner and the couple
Ends with a clear toast
Runs three to five minutes when read aloud
Has been rehearsed out loud several times

A best man speech doesn't have to be perfect. It has to be sincere, a little funny, and short enough to leave people smiling. Pick your best stories, follow the structure, and speak from the heart. That's what everyone in the room will remember.